Sing Ling, 16.
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
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The feeling is killin' me. I don't know why i just couldn't resist my temptations and i simply couldn't forget, and let it go. How useless am i. I can say that the feeling of loneliness, without you by my side was so unbearable. Yes i told myself i could just carry on, but it was so hard to do so. Only i understand how it feels, cos' i'm the one undergoing it, not because you've been through it. I'm not a strong girl, but neither am i a weak girl. I believe one day, i could stand up again.
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I'm tired. I thought i could just get rid of all these fuckin' feelings, but no i can't. I just couldn't describe how the feeling or should i say, those thoughts had killed me, one night after another. I cried in my dream, i wish it was true, but it was my illusion. Nothing, could win the god's will.
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But you know it well, i still love you.
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I'm so upset with my results. This is what it pays for not revising, not putting in enough effort. I lost this time round, i lose to myself. Cos' everything just affected me and i just didn't have the mood, the right emotions to sit for the papers.
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I underestimated biology and Emath paper. I'm was so taken aback. I was not satisfied though to you people, i might had been lucky. To me, i was far far away from my expectations. They said, I shouldn't have set such a high expectation cos' the disappointment would be worse.
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I don't know why, there were so much thoughts in my mind now. I used to have a pair of listening ears, by my side, comforting me. But now, it's all gone. I wished, life could turn out to be unexpected, could be something i wished for that have never came.
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"Miracle." Never would it happen.
10:03 PM