@x-mylove,

Actually, i wonder why am i born into this world, it's nothing better than anything else. I hated how god had gave me such a weak and unstable emotion system, i hated how i was like and i hated myself cos' i can't be strong, i can't stand out among all my friends.
-
When i'm sad, who would really care and share the burden with me? See me in school, i'm so hyper active but what the others say? Crazy? All of you can never read my mind, cos' it's not that simple, i'm not a simple person. So what for be crazy? No one even take note of you la Sing Ling! Why for shout and scream during breaks, get high and talk about him? No one really cares, they cover their ears as they hear. Did you really knew how i feel? Small little things could affect me. Even the slightest thing could hurt me deep down. One sentence can actually affect my mood for the whole day, like now, how am i feeling? I feel like crying, i feel like disappearing and see if you guys would ask about me.
-
Yes i can say, i feel really extra among all my friends! Whenever i'm with them, i'm the odd one out, i'm always the one talking but no one really hears and respond. Who would really care? No one at all! I can just die off from this earth! I can't believe the whole campfire today couldn't get my mood high, not because it's bad but because i'm really dishearten by so many things. I can't believe i'm tearing now, i'm crying over what has been done and just, others' words.
-
So what if i'm hardworking? No one appreciate it too! So what if i stand by everyone, hear their stories? I'm still a typical friend. So what if i'm a senior? No one really take me as one. So what if i'm a good friend to others? I'm not only the one. I can't deny that i've got unstable friendships with people. I argue and things don't go our way. I used to cry over guys but now, it's you girls, you guys all that had neglected how i feel inside. I don't blame all of you, i just hated why am i born this way and why i just couldn't out stand, why can't i be who am i? No one has my deepest secret, it's all kept deep down in my heart. I know i don't matter actually.
-
Who are my best friends? They mean so much to me (ok, i'm not a lesbian) but i'm someone less important. I know why i feel this way, cos' i'm lack of confidence. Do you know why i'm lack of confidence? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TAKING IN THINGS, UNPLEASANT THINGS SO UNHAPPY THINGS FROM SO MANY PEOPLE AND I TRIED TO CHANGE BUT I COULDN'T. Stop telling me i've a flat and small chest! I hate it so fuckin' much, so what if i've a flat chest? It's not yours, why for comment? So what if i'm a sweet girl to you when you first knew me? So what if i'm so different from other girls? So what if i'm good to keep homework for you people? So what if i've got a ugly face when i pin up my fringe? SO WHAT IF I'VE GOT SO MANY THINGS I WANTED BUT NOT THINGS I NEEDED? I'm someone who express my feelings, yes i do.
-
Till now, no one's reading this, yes i'm a lousy person with a lousy attitude, but most importantly, with the lousiest connection of friends, and the least understanding of others. Friends don't matter to me in the past but now they do, cos' they stood by my side, and cheered me up. But as time passes, things don't remain the same. I can't deny that i'm someone who seek attention from the crowd. I admit i'm someone who wanna get many good friends, hear them talk, but still i failed. It looked fuckin' stupid with me talking but no one's listening.
-
So what if i've got 300 contacts in my phone? None smses me. This tells me where i stood in their heart. Yes, i am a very sensitive person.
-

Twitter Updates