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Friday, February 26, 2010

Tell me why i felt so scared and afraid when i was doing my chinese paper 2 today.. I gave up while i do it. I gave up reading those passages, gave up guessing the answers. I just, wrote down numbers i like. Tell me why i can't even write anything out, or find words that match into my comprehension? I only done 2 questions. I know i wouldn't get any marks for it because it was just crap. I almost felt like as if i had my emotions unstable. I see Mdm Ang, how am i going to face her? I think i've really let her down. Maybe it was really a wrong decision to stay in normal chinese, to hold on so tightly when i know it just doesn't suit me. I never felt like this before. I really intended to improve my chinese, but no, it didn't really work..

Commontest is over. Not happy, not sad. But, just neutral. I wanna just, stop everything now. Sleep and never wake up. I don't like bottling up my emotions, so i became someone who tends to express myself a lot. I see others sad, i tend to quiet myself down. I don't like seeing people sad. I don't like being sad too. How to live a happy life? Maybe i just feel this way for now, but i'm sure i will be alright later on..

I can't really control my emotions too. I felt so worked up, and so upset, so angry. Why? Moodswing? I hate this feeling. Lingling don't wanna be someone who has bad character. Lingling just wanna live some simple life, live like how i used to when i'm young. I just, want to be like how i was a kid, no worries...no doubts. Unlike now..

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